Sunday, September 14, 2008
it have been three goody weeks that i have yet to update my lovely bloggie. i'm jus being lazy, busy at times (during these three weeks), being fatigue and whatever you can name it.. PLEASE NOMINATE ME AS THE MOST LAZIEST GIRL IN YEAR 2008 and you think i care? No, i dun. Jus like me for who i am and not whaat i'm not..
in these three weeks, many things happened. be it at work affair or home affair, it has been the most stressful thingy in year 2008. i have been thinking.... in life,
why do pple work so hard jus to get wat they want??
why pple must smoke and drink and flirt and go clubbing etc...???
why cant pple jus be decent and lead a normally healthy lifestyle??
why are the youngest nowadays does not have any initiative? have they forgotten what their parents and teachers' teaching?? if yes, what for the parents are so 'clever' to spend all these money on them. brainless creature.
why are the government increasing so many stuffs in all aspects and why cant companies give more benefits and increment??
yes, i have so many why in my mind. i have been thinking alot alot of things lately. the above mentioned are jus in general. i have many many things in mind that i duno how to spell out in words to express my thinking.. i really duno.. 我很想哭但是哭不出来。我很累了！！
firstly, i worried abt myself. I'm getting older every year, so do you. but for me, i dun have a proper qualification, i dun have a partner (as you reach certain age and you are not attached, you will tend to tink alot), i dun think i have achieve what i want in life.
I'm trying my very best to study hard now in order jus to get the knowledge and certificate. i choose this way and i dun blame pple. i choose to work first then and now I'm proudly paying for what i have chosen. So what you study so much nowadays, the pple with higher qualification are jus simply brainless creature.
yes, i dun have a partner nor fling.. maybe years back, i wun worry for this issue and i strongly agree with someone who told me this "as you grow older and you are not attached, you will tend to worry already". but beginning of the year till now, i have been bothered by this. yes, you maybe be thinking that I'm giving myself unnecessary stress and pressure. but have you ever wonder how i feel?? well, doesn't matter. I'm officially been single for 2 years plus. frankly speaking, initially I'm quite use to the singlehood life. but ever since, my dearest sis is attached, i feel so lost and lonely and fortunately, i managed to get over it and move on.. but something that is not right or doing well is that i started to think even more. sighz.... =[ (i gonna stop here as i feel the sourness from my heart and if i continue, my tears will be coming out)
i feel lost and i really cannot figure out what do i actually want in life. yes, i want to work hard to earn more money, 可是钱是earn cannot finish one. yes, i want to get married and have my ideal no. of children. but nothing is helping me to happen. where have my prayers gone to???
secondly, i worried for my sisters. yes, i worried too much for them. but have they ever know how i feel for them?? i watched them grow for ten twenty years. i can say i share my happiness and sorrow with them and i hope i do share theirs too.. (provided they say and heed for advice). i use to think that no-one can ever break our sistership but i was wrong. there are jus this bunch of pple out there that is trying to led her astray. i will call this pple, bastard. i hate you.
i duno how to describe how much i love my sisters and it really hurts me and frustrate me most when something happen to them or argument or whatsoever. girls, if you are reading this. please tell me what you feel abt me being your sister. you girls have been too busy to have a talk with me. STOP!! i have to STOP. this is the 2nd thing that will affect my tears. I'm sorry. =[
thirdly, work. i have been hating to go to work lately. or should i say since beginning of the year. i really find it meaningless to go to work when i have colleagues that cannot take scolding or do extra tasks. everything have to be stated clearly... SHITTED. cant they be more flexible like von and i? sighz.. i know not everyone is the same but if you expect pple to help you, what should you do? do you need me to send you back to school to learn it over again.. common sense leh.. wake up your bloody mind... i have enough of all these stated clearly stuffs.
lastly, i have an upset 2008 for the first 2 quarters. it sucks.. i hope i will have a fruitful and meaningful 2008 for the last 2 quarters..
patrons, my apologies for this emo blog. pardon me for that.
kathleen was here writing on 9/14/2008 12:18:00 AM
